Darkest Blue

My two favorite colors intertwined into one.
The song that I listen to now.

"Everywhere that I go.. misery will follow. It won't let me go."

The worst day of my life.. is nothing compared to yours.
But nonetheless, it is the worst day of my life.
The two of you remember that day very well.
And as I sat there pondering if you were really going to go through with it. I dread the idea of moving on without you.
My first love, but more importantly as a friend.
Someone I trust.
And when I saw the two of you both there side by side I was horrified.
Playing games with my mind and my heart.
Did you really expect to get what you wanted from the start?
An honest answer?
My answers were out of desperation.
I didn't know what to do..
I didn't want you to leave like that.
I got down on myself. I knew that I started all of this.
It's not what you did that made it the worst day of my life.
It's the realization of what I did.

Today, I looked at the sky while walking home and it reminded me of you. That first time when you said that I had made your day with a single text message. "You're like the sun. Always brightening my day." Every time I pass some place of note involving you and me, I can't help but reminisce. I realize that you inhabit my thoughts and my heart. In the time that I have alone, whenever I close my eyes I imagine you. And honestly, I don't think I'll ever forget about you. The bond that we share is too strong to let go. Even though it seems we are so close but so far at the same time. I'll always remember you fondly.

I don't know what you think about me. I don't know if you care or not anymore. Not that I blame you. I know that I didn't want us to end like this. Not like this.. not like this. Again, it pains me to wonder how I'm going to move on with my life. Without you. Again, you inhabit my thoughts and my dreams. And you're right there in the flesh as well. I noticed that we were glancing at each other today throughout class. I don't know what that means, but I noticed. Even without looking at your eyes, I can tell that you wished this never happened.

Well maybe I can meet you halfway.. just one last shot.
You read all our blogs. I wonder if you check mines as much as I check yours. Sunday, I'm going to go see Dear John.. alone.
I think the 7:40 show at Kahala.
If you wish to join me, then by all means you're welcome.
I'm not sure if you're going to show up or not.. but I'll be waiting.

"I still hear them calling.. I still hear them calling.."