I am so sorry that I cannot be that person for you, yet. If at all. It really pains me to see you like this that you think that all the effort you put out is in vain, that you've become this jaded.

I want to be the person that kindles the fire within you again. Like what am I to you? In this case, I don't know what else to do, but to be patient and understanding.

I see your potential, don't let it go to waste.

I am so close, but so far?

I've fallen for you so damn hard. I'm there in whatever capacity you need.

Am I willing to wait this long? Can't tell.

Oh how I can get lost in your eyes.

Sigh

The reality of the Christian life is contrary to almost everything I have done in the past few weeks which is shameful and humiliating to say the least. My heart is such a mess of wants instead of my needs. Lord I am choosing to continually surrender my life to You and I pray that I won't fall down the stream by the wayside and regress as far as I have in this week. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness that has already been given out.

I also would like that you will show yourself to myself and her in this time. Bless her with your presence.

GG

For the longest time I've been hoping waiting wishing and hanging on to something to fickle. If I only had a girlfriend would be the phrase I'd always say to myself. Things would be different. Obviously things weren't and it almost pains me to read some of the idiotic stuff I've posted in the past. How naive I was, but you know what? Things are different now.

I'm glad to say that God has dramatically changed my life and how I view things. Restoring everything for His good, even all the crap in my life as a testament to how much He loves me and how His love will be better than anything out there. I'm still waiting and actively letting Him take off the veil on my eyes and allow Him to reveal Himself to me. Easier said than done, but only possible through Him. I'm excited to see where I am headed and eventually, the woman that He has in store for me.