I've fallen for you yet again. I hope it's not in vain this time.

And well, what do you know. We're talking again.

A quick nine months to say the least. It's most unfortunate that it'd ended up this way, but at the same time we both needed the time to grow up. I'm not sure where it's going to go, but if I made a promise to myself, how can I go back on my own word?

It's hard to resist the urge. So far, you've been the only person that's ever made me act this irrational. What happens this time, I won't know until it happens. Maybe I'll be ready for the ride this time.

I'm done.

The abruptness is very confusing to me. I honestly have no words, but here's what's on my mind.

First and foremost, I'm happy for the both of you, congratulations!

At the same time, I am sitting here contemplating my thoughts. I feel like I was led on, at some point I accepted the friendship with no expectation of anything further. At the same time, I just asked you a week ago and you said you couldn't make me happy in that way due to the demons that you have inside. This event is leaving me a confused mess. It doesn't hurt my self-esteem, but it does worry me.

It takes a lot for me to change my mind about a person. I hope that you weren't leading me on or lying to me. I hope that you don't spread yourself too thin. I'd rather not see you get hurt again. You deserve better than that. I'll always be your friend though, I've made that pact with myself to you.

I love you. I'm not sure what kind of love this quantifies as, but you're someone who means a lot to me. Just because your circumstances changed doesn't mean I should change my attitude towards you in response.

This event has the most opportune timing I think. I've so desperately wanted to work on my relationship with God. I've been sorely neglecting it and I think the time that I appropriated to thinking about you has hampered my time in other things. I think the right course of action now is to continue on with my life and hold no ill will and that is all that I can do.

Best of luck Lei.

I am so sorry that I cannot be that person for you, yet. If at all. It really pains me to see you like this that you think that all the effort you put out is in vain, that you've become this jaded.

I want to be the person that kindles the fire within you again. Like what am I to you? In this case, I don't know what else to do, but to be patient and understanding.

I see your potential, don't let it go to waste.

I am so close, but so far?

I've fallen for you so damn hard. I'm there in whatever capacity you need.